Perspective Shifting Relationships
One of the most effective ways to help people see a challenge in a new light is getting them to zoom way out. Often that new perspective is enough to shake loose a different angle or path forward that wasn’t obvious before.
But zooming out like that is not easy! My clients bring complex challenges that they are deeply enmeshed in to our coaching conversations, that’s the whole point! As their coach, I can often help them zoom out through our work together.
But a coach is certainly not the only way to achieve that sense of perspective. Another amazing way to shift your perspective is by cultivating relationships with people that are in different stages of their lives.
I am in my late 30s - and so are most of my friends and colleagues. When we talk - we are all IN the same sorts of challenges. We can’t really help each other get out of our default perspectives - because we share so many of the same experiences, opinions and reference points. But speaking to a 25 year old? Hearing what they are going through? Or a 55 year old? Whoa - that is an immediate zoom out moment for me.
What’s so impactful about those connections? Well, in the immediate sense - speaking to someone else in a different stage of their career can give you insight into how others might view your challenge. For example - if you are looking to a junior member of your team then understanding how a 25 year old thinks about their career might be very helpful. Or if you are looking to sell to clients that are older, then understanding what someone at that stage of their career values can unlock new thinking about your sales strategy.
But I think something else even more powerful is going on in these kinds of relationships. Connecting with someone who is at a different stage of their life helps you imagine yourself at that stage. What would I be thinking if I was in their shoes? Or even more powerful- what would that version of me think about my current dilemma? And THAT is the kind of perspective shift that can really open up a new way of thinking.
As a father to two young kids, we’ve been faced with the typical “threenager” behavior challenges over the last year. In a recent conversation about kids with a good friend, I heard what it was like sending kids off to college. Wow! In that moment I immediately started thinking about what it would feel like to send my own kid off to college. Who would I be 15 years from now? Who would they be? What would our lives be like? That thought process transported me somewhere totally new. And gave me such an incredible vantage point to look back at my present challenge. The conversation made me feel LUCKY to be dealing with a threenager. What a complete 180!