Bouncing Back from Bad News

The other day I got some bad news.

I had been gearing up for a potential project, and that morning I learned that it wasn’t going to move forward.

I was upset. So I decided to take a walk to clear my head.

As I walked, my first instinct was to say to myself - “It’s all good Andrew… pick yourself up, get back out there and something new will come your way.  This will retreat in the rear view mirror like the minor hiccup that it is.”

And I realized that although that rationale makes perfect sense - the way to continue to build a business or a career is to keep putting yourself out there - I was ignoring how I was feeling at that moment.

I was feeling down on myself. This thing I had put a lot of energy into hadn’t turned out the way I had hoped it would.

I was faced with the inevitable questions…  Had it not gone my way because of something I did? Or didn’t do?

In that headspace - boy is it hard to “get back out there.”  Who would want to talk to me or work with me?

The critical voice in my head was getting loud. And in that moment, I realized that, if left unchecked, that voice and those beliefs could become a self fulfilling prophecy. 

In other words… If you are too down on yourself to put yourself out there - of course no new business will come your way.  And then your worst predictions about yourself could actually come true!

Yikes! 

I see this dynamic lurking sometimes in my conversations with clients.  Whether they are looking for jobs, new customers, or new investment.

When we define our worth through someone else’s eyes - we are at risk of this spiral.

For me, two things helped in that moment the other day.  First, was the walk and the space I gave myself.  Later in the day that harsh voice had already started to recede.

And secondly, I was able to remember that how I feel about the work I am doing is 100x more important than how anyone else feels about it. And outside of this one small setback - I do feel great about the work I am doing.

I know that when I am feeling confident in what I bring to the table - that is when I am at my best. But that confidence has to come from within first - it can’t be reliant on other people.